Korncrake!
The Website of Herr Professor Doktor Boethius P. von Korncrake

I had promised to give you the fourth installment of von Korncrake in Kalamazoo, but unfortunately I was felled over the weekend by what was either a two-day version of the bubonic plague or a bad doner kebab. I am now somewhat better, and will post part four of von Korncrake in Kalamazoo later this […]

Read: My Apologies »

The first part of this story may be found here, and the second part here. On my first morning in America, I emerged into the Midwestern daylight and was immediately engulfed by the International Congress on Medieval Studies, like a German sunbather in a tsunami, swept up in a roiling mass of 5,000 screechingly insecure […]

Read: Von Korncrake in Kalamazoo, Part 3 »

The first part of this story may be found here. After a lengthy flight from Frankfurt to Michigan, with a change to a regional carrier in Detroit, I arrived in Kalamazoo jet-lagged and exhausted, but happy. I had with me three copies of my paper, one in my suitcase, the second in my briefcase, and […]

Read: Von Korncrake in Kalamazoo, Part 2 »

This afternoon, when I returned from a lengthy and sausage-intensive lunch, I found my chief assistants, Manfred and Helmut, atwitter. They had just received the improbably thick program of the 42nd Annual International Congress on Medieval Studies. “Herr Professor von Korncrake,” squeaked Helmut, brandishing the monstrosity in my face, “look, here is the session in […]

Read: I’ve Got a von Korncrake in Kalamazoo »

“Guten Morgen, Herr Prof. Dr. von Korncrake,” said my chief research assistants, Manfred and Helmut, as I entered the office this morning. “Guten Morgen, gentlemen,” i replied, removing my coat and hat and handing them to Helmut. “Have you seen the news, Herr Professor?” asked Manfred excitedly, “the Berlin wall was stolen this morning!” “Manfred, […]

Read: Berlin Wall Stolen? »

Last Tuesday afternoon, as I was trying to slip out four hours early, the director of our division, Herr Prof. Dr. Kleimann, ambushed me in the hallway. “Herr Prof. von Korncrake,” he asked, “I understand from your assistants that you are an afficionado of the comedic cinema?” “Yes, Herr Direktor,” I said, forcing a cheery […]

Read: Music and Lyrics »

I had just come back from my morning constitutional around the Marktplatz when Silke, the department secretary, a tasty bit of blonde Topfenstrudel, met me at the door with the news that I had a visitor. “Who is it, Silke?” “It is one of your former students,” she said in that lilting-gutteral voice that German […]

Read: Jealousy »

I was sitting in my office the other day having just returned from a very satisfying lunch with my chief research assistants, Manfred and Helmut, or as I like to refer to them, Tweedletoady and Tweedlegrovel, when the deputy chief our our division, Frau Prof. Dr. Beatrice Glaeßner, poked her inartfully dyed head into my […]

Read: The Unbearable Lightness of von Korncrake »

Several people have inquired about the provenance of my name, “von Korncrake.” Most of these interlocutors have noted that the bird known in the British Isles as the “corncrake” (Latin crex crex, named onomatopoeically after its distinctive call) is known in German as the the Wachtelkönig (“King of Quails”) not the “Korncrake”. Presumeably this is […]

Read: The Name “von Korncrake” »

When my good friend Manolo the Shoeblogger asked me to write the introduction to his delightful new work, The Consolation of the Shoes, I was surprised. “But my dear Manolo,” I protested, “You have so many friends who are so much more famous than I.” “Yes, Herr Professor, but none know the Manolo as you […]

Read: The Consolation of the Shoes »